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In Zagreb, then in other cities and on the web, Olinka Vistica and Drazen Grubisic have set up a permanent and moving exhibition made up of remnants of romantic breakups.
What do a toaster, a pedal car, a homemade modem, a positive pregnancy test, dresses, shoes, handcuffs, poems, a box of popcorn have in common? , a mechanical rabbit, a pierced seashell, a steel guitar slide, a shopping list, four black dresses, a blond hair, a mango candle, a gourd in the shape of a penis, the score of “Piano Concerto No. 3 by Rachmaninoff.
Nothing a priori, except that they have found refuge in a museum, the strangest museum one can imagine, the “museum of broken hearts”. Installed in the baroque palace of Kulmer, an aristocratic residence on the heights of the Croatian city of Zagreb, the Museum of Broken Relationships brings together the vestiges of sentimental ruptures, a real emotional heritage. Hung on walls, displayed in display cases or installed on backlit pedestals, these ordinary objects form a collection that documents the thousand ways of loving and breaking up, of meeting and separating.
The museum of ruptures was itself born of a rupture. In 2003, when Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišić separated, they had to agree on the division of their possessions. “Grief…it was the only thing we still had in common ,” Olinka says. One evening, at their kitchen table, they came up with the idea of an exhibition composed of vestiges of ruptures similar to theirs. Three years later, when the exhibition became a reality, they donated the first object: Honey Bunny, their mechanical rabbit .
In 2006, they did not imagine the success that their artistic collection project would bring them: inviting all disappointed lovers to give them a memory and participate in the constitution of a “collective emotional history ” . The museum is not fixed, it is a nomadic gallery that travels the world and whose collection is enriched with each exhibition of a new collection in the host city , a way of translating the ambitions of the museum of hearts broken in all languages.
In addition to a branch in Los Angeles , the Museum of Broken Relationships is also available virtually on the web . At any time, in any place, it is possible to record a story, to leave an object. The digitized and open-access collections extend from São Paulo to Cape Town, from New York to Tokyo. A map allows you to find your way around this universal gallery of broken relationships. It also keeps track of the many exhibitions organized around the world, such as at the Centquatre in Paris in 2013.
“Who is telling this story? It’s me ,” writes Leslie Jamison, American essayist and novelist whose Pauvert has just published La Baleine solitaire et autres texts habités , a collection of fourteen texts published in The Atlantic, Harper’s Magazine, The New Yorker.
The American essayist who is often presented as the heiress of … full article
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Don’t be fond of checking out anyone who calls you to … full article
If yours is late, remember this story worthy of romantic comedies.
It was September 2016. To end her vacation in style, Andye was spending three days in Paris when she decided to jump aboard this wagon that would change her life forever. “I took the metro to go back to my friend’s house; that’s where he got on , ” Andye told CNN .
“He” is Steven, a 24-year-old student at the time. When he arrived in the car, it was already full of passengers. He stood while Andye sat, travel backpack on her knees and earphones in her ears.
Steven noticed her right away. “I found her very beautiful ,” he recalls. “We kept watching each other ,” she recalls. He turned to look at me and I looked away, and we went on like that for a good quarter of an hour.
As the subway sped under the streets of the capital, Steven thought of a polite way to start a conversation with “the girl with the backpack” , as he likes to call her. During this time, she gradually became aware of her budding interest in this “unknown”: “And if it was my husband without me ever being able to know it? she wondered then. I will surely have to get off this subway and never see him again… When our eyes finally met and neither of us turned him away, I saw his lips move. So I took off one of my headphones. Steven suggested that she move her backpack to the empty seat next to her. The conversation was on.
A real version of “Emily in Paris”
They continued to date until Andye had to return to Amsterdam to graduate. Once the sesame in her pocket, they saw each other one last time in Paris before she left for the United States for good. Andye boarded the plane with no plans to return to Europe. She knew, however, that they loved each other : “We kept hoping to see each other again without knowing when that would be possible.”
The first months of a long-distance relationship were complicated, but they managed to hold on: three years later, on September 16, 2019, the couple got married in Washington. Today, Andye and Steven live in Florida and plan their future adventures together. “One of the symbolic things – and I don’t think he realizes this – is that when we travel he likes to ask me [if he can] carry my backpack,” Andye says.
When they recount their meeting to other people, some tell them that it looks like a fairy tale. Or, more in tune with the times: “With him, I feel like I’m living in a romantic comedy ,” she jokes.
Looking back, they continue to be amazed at the turn events have taken, as Andye explains: “There are days when I say to him: my God, I’m married to a stranger that I met in the metro in Paris! »
“What if I had … full article
The adage that in love opposites attract is less and less relevant, according to science.
Many are the American series taking place in high school where the best student in the class falls in love with the bad boy in the last row, where the somewhat shy scientist ends up falling in love with a teenage girl who sucks in math. In popular and media culture , radically different people seem to come together through the power of love. Maybe you even know some couples who fit this description perfectly and whose relationship longevity is amazing.
For the BBC , Jessica Klein took an interest in this received idea. If it is complicated to go back to the exact origins of the adage, the journalist found traces of it in the work of sociologist Robert F. Winch . In 1954, he worked on the “search for complementarity in the selection of a partner” , this would mean, for example, that introverted people are more interested in extroverted people in order to be influenced by them. Ten years later, the work of psychologist Donn Byrne concludes the opposite: we would tend to appreciate a person who is unknown to us if we recognize in him qualities similar to ours.
In 2017, psychology professor Angela Bahn studied 1,500 couples and developed a system of statistical measures to determine whether the two partners are similar in behavior as well as in values, leisure activities or alcohol consumption. On average, they share 86% of the variables measured, without the duration of the relationship influencing the result.
She also discovers that it is at the level of personality that couples have the least similarities. By taking into account the “Big Five” or “ five great personality traits ” (openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neurosis) to measure personality , Bahn notes that certain assemblies are very rare or seem to work less: “ two people very dominants will find it difficult to get along, this is a place where complementarity or “the attraction of opposites” works. »
The same year, a survey by psychologist Youyou Wu suggests – thanks to the study of the Facebook profiles of 1,000 couples and 50,000 couples of friends – that opposites do not attract at all, even when it comes to personality.
Dating apps would even tend to accentuate this. In 2020, on Tinder, mentions of “ Black Lives Matter ” or BLM, a mark of support for the American anti-racist movement, were multiplied by 55 . These endorsements are often used to indicate that it is impossible for the person to date someone who does not support the movement.
In addition, the algorithms used by most of these applications bring people who share the same interests closer together . In 2016, at the time of the US presidential elections, several applications for Donald Trump voters were created. On OkCupid, by registering, you must complete a questionnaire which allows you to mention (if the person wishes) their political opinion … full article
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